Pet lovers are among some of the busiest people nowadays. The reason behind being busy is that they are at the stage of maintaining two relationships simultaneously. One is with their spouse and the other one with their pet, especially if they have a dog.
But let us not forget that sometimes maintaining two relationships simultaneously puts a person in a position to choose between them. We are pretty sure you have gone through a situation where your husband or boyfriend chose the dog over you, and now you are looking forward to knowing how to fix it and getting back to him.
First of all, understand that there are so many reasons why your husband chose the dog over you. But among all of them, the primary reason is that your husband/boyfriend loves his dog a lot, and no one can replace him in his life. No matter how long you guys have been together, nothing comes first to him in front of his dog.
But don’t forget that every problem comes with a solution. Understand all the reasons before adopting any of them. Keep reading because, in this article, we are sharing reasons and solutions that will help you fix this problem easily. Let’s get started!
Reasons behind choosing the dog over you
The possible reasons that let your spouse choose the pet over you are as follows:
Things are not fine in your relationship
The primary reason you let your spouse choose the dog over you is that things are not fine in your relationship. Sometimes, your relationship is going through a challenging phase, but the other partner is not ready to overcome all of them. They were into it to the extent that they decided to leave it. If the problems occur because of the dog, he will choose the dog over you.
Please don’t take me wrong, girl, because this is a condition where both partners are supposed to put in equal efforts to make a relationship work. But if your boyfriend/husband is playing with the dog every time, putting any effort into the relationship will not work. Here, it is important for him to realize your worth.
You are overreacting to little things, especially when it comes to his pet
There is a possibility that you are overreacting to little things regarding his (your husband’s) dog. If your partner is a pet lover, be sure of your words and do not say things that can hurt him concerning his canine friend. If there is a situation where you drag things related to his dog, he is definitely going to choose him and will not listen to you either.
In a relationship, efforts from both partners are essential. If you are overreacting to certain things, try to be patient for a while and avoid the situation altogether. Do not let yourself be the victim of the situation because keeping these things in between will ruin the relationship and put your partner at a stage where he needs to choose.
Your husband has not overcome the past relationship
If your husband/boyfriend has been through a traumatic relationship. In that case, there is a possibility that he is not in a state to trust anyone. Sometimes it happens due to betrayal that we reach a state where trusting someone seems to be very difficult, and likewise, your boyfriend or husband has reached the state. As we all know, trusting dogs is easier than trusting humans in the present generation, and maybe your husband has found solace in dogs.
It is your responsibility to understand your partner’s condition and take the steps accordingly. Analyze him and let him go with the moment. It takes some time for you to dig out his past and fix the things, but understand that it will be worthwhile. Let your husband speak about his thoughts and the things we have gone through in the past so that you can figure it out. Also, do not interrupt him when he is spending time with the dog because this will only ruin his mood.
The dog is related to some of the loved ones he has lost
If the dog your husband or boyfriend owns belongs to some of the loved ones he has lost, then I understand you cannot replace him in any case. No matter how much effort you put in, you can’t get to the same place as the dog.
However, first of all, try to figure out why your spouse is keeping the dog. If it belongs to someone he lost, don’t argue and try to figure things out with good communication. Let your partner know that this is not the right way to treat certain things, and we can figure things out together.
Your spouse is dealing with some psychological issues
Psychological issues are prevalent in men. If your partner is going through any such condition, there is a chance that he is not in a state to make the right decision and, in a hurry, he has chosen the dog.
The psychological issues can be related to some financial problems or some traumatic condition he is going through. In this case, give some time to him and let him think over his decision again. Do not put any kind of pressure on your partner. If you notice that he is not paying attention to things, then leave the situation as it is.
The argument between you both has taken a new turn
If you guys argue a lot and the argument is related to the dog, then understand it has taken a new turn, and there is nothing left in this relationship. Relationships work when a spark is there, and both partners are ready to manage things out with commitment. If they are not in the state to manage things out, they will not be able to deal with things at all. Don’t get into an argument unnecessarily and humiliate your partner just because he likes the dog.
Unfortunately, he is not the right guy to stay with
Suppose the reasons mentioned above do not fit your partner. In that case, unfortunately, he is not the guy you should invest your time with anymore. Do understand that this attitude is acceptable to an extent only, and if a person has decided to change it, it can be changed easily. Your partner must be willing to change it; otherwise, things will get ruined.
What to do if your husband/boyfriend chooses the dog over you?
After exploring the reasons, you might be curious to know how to fix it. The possible solutions to fix such behavior include:
Work on your relationship with your partner
First of all, by keeping all these things aside, work on your relationship with your partner. Until and unless you are ready to work on things, nothing will change at all. Try to figure out your partner’s choices and deal with them accordingly. If you find these situations acceptable, then only you can move ahead with them. But if these things are not meant for you, drop the idea of working on those things and search for some new ways.
Work on your relationship with the dog
If you hate the dog, but your husband loves him, and that’s why he chose him, it is time for you to work on your relationship with the dog. Try spending more time with the dog and analyze the situation with a bit of attention. Dogs are beautiful creatures, and undoubtedly, you will fall in love with them after spending some time together.
Have clear communication with your partner
Having clear communication with your partner is the best way to resolve many problems. Likewise, this is helpful in a situation where your husband has chosen the dog over you.
Ask your partner directly about the things bothering him and those that make him prefer the company of a dog. This will help you analyze whether it’s the relationship you guys are sharing that is the reason or something else your husband might be going through.
Let your partner value you
Every time, it’s not important that you are the one who will take the first step. You are a homemaker, or say, the one sharing an equal part in the relationship, so your husband needs to be sure about your value as well. Let him understand that you also have a role in his life and that he needs to be a bit responsible towards you.
Introduce some new things to the schedule
Living the same schedule for a long time does not bring any change and can make you feel stuck in a particular moment. As a couple, try to introduce some new things to the schedule. For instance, you guys can take a break on the weekend and visit some of your favorite restaurants and other destinations. Spend some more quality time with each other to figure things out. But make sure that you don’t argue again during the break, especially if it’s about the dog.
Visit a counselor
If nothing is helping you out, visiting a counselor can help. Now marriage counselors, or as they are called, relationship counselors, are also there for you to see and discuss the condition you are going through.
Change yourself a bit
Sometimes changing yourself a bit can also help fix so many problems. Similarly, you can fix the condition where your husband left you because of the dog. Try to manage things that can make you both feel invested in the relationship and make the change that bothers your husband a lot.
Have a direct discussion with your partner
After visiting the counselor or having a clear conversation with your partner too, if things are the same, have a discussion with your partner without any hesitation or doubt. If he is still not ready to listen to you, then, unfortunately, he is not the one you can be with for more time.
Keep the dog busy
Keeping the dog busy can also help you and let your husband spend some more time with you. You can simply bring out some toys for your dog and let him play with them.
Pets are the top priority for pet owners, and expecting them to change overnight is a myth. You need to be patient and mindful while dealing with them. If you are blabbering things about their pet, be ready to face the consequences too.
Tips for living with your husband or boyfriend and dog peacefully
In this section, we are coming up with some tips that will help to maintain a healthy relationship with your husband or boyfriend and dog: –
Patience is the key to winning anything
Patience is the key to winning anything. If things are not fine between you and your partner because of the dog, this can help you do it. You can simply be patient for a while and let things happen. Give your husband enough time and space to realize your worth and then see whether he is actually making some efforts to make things better or not.
Plan a date with your partner
Planning a date with your partner is one of the best ways to feel love and let your partner feel it as well. You can simply plan an outing to his favorite destination or go on a dinner date. If there is nothing to do, simply go for a walk and pour your heart out before your husband. These long walks are helpful in fixing so many things that cannot be fixed over a dinner table.
A strategy is important to follow
Women are among the most creative creatures in terms of building up a strategy to work on certain things. Well, adopt an approach that will help you deal with stuff in a better way. You can simply properly plan things so that there will be nothing that can bother your partner or let him be on the verge of having to decide between you and the dog.
Pamper your husband
Pamper your husband as much as you can. This includes random kisses and hugs. To maintain a relationship, you must give enough time to each other. Do not let your partner feel alone and think that the dog is the only companion he has. Don’t let your partner feel alone in any case.
Engage him in activities he loves to do
Last but not least, engage in activities he loves to do. For example, if he loves to be around the dog, try to spend some more time with the dog along with him. We are not saying you have to love him right away, but you can still try it out.
What we learned from all this
Relationships are better when both partners are ready to work things over. But if it happens that your partner has chosen the dog over you, then don’t worry because this is natural for pet lovers. By adopting some of the above measures, you can fix that out. Just let your partner know that you are going through some problems and that this is the reason you do not like the dog. Sometimes, communicating openly fixes a lot of things. If nothing is helping, approach the expert, let them know about the entire episode, and adapt their suggested measures!
I am a pet lover who spent her childhood in the company of a friendly Labrador Retriever. I believe that pets make our lives more enjoyable and stress-free. Currently, I have two budgies Kiwi & Koko as pets, and planning to adopt a pup soon. So, here I am, attempting to share my experiences and knowledge to improve the lives of pets and pet owners.